Could separation from anxiety break a relationship?
This is how you fight your fear of being abandoned
Your boyfriend has been working a lot of overtime lately, calling less often and arguing a lot? This can quickly lead to negative thoughts. What if he has already found another woman and is about to split up? Such worries can quickly become a real stress test for your relationship. With our tips you can overcome your fear of abandonment!
How fear of abandonment can destroy your relationship
First of all: every now and then everyone ponders and wonders whether their own relationship is really made to last forever. Small doubts are human and are not necessarily a bad sign. But if the thought seems to occupy you all the time, the fear of being abandoned is sure to be a burden for your partnership. Quarrel follows quarrel and at some point there may even be a separation. Not because your partner would have been unhappy with you in the first place, but only because your fear of losing him has overshadowed the day-to-day relationship. This can turn your worries into self-fulfilling prophecy, so to speak. For this reason alone, it is worth questioning your behavior and doing something about your fear.
5 tips to overcome your fear
The good news for you: With a few simple tricks you can trick yourself and become more relaxed.
# 1 Work on your self-esteem
Low self-esteem is a common cause of jealousy. If you feel that you are not good enough for your partner, you will immediately see any woman as a competitor. But you don't need such thoughts at all! Show yourself what makes you special, what you have achieved and what you can be proud of. If you can't think of a specific trait or success straight away, you can ask your boyfriend and friends what they appreciate about you. You will quickly notice that you are much harder with yourself than those around you.
With these 7 tips you can strengthen your self-confidence!Read now
# 2 Talk about your worries without reproach
First of all, you need to realize that your worries are mostly in your head. Your partner has little to do with it. So if you have a strange gut feeling, for example, because you believe that he is cheating, speak primarily from your perspective - and refrain from throwing unjustified accusations around you. "I have the feeling that ..." or "I'm afraid of losing you because ..." are better ways to start an honest conversation than "Where were you last night?" And "You're cheating on me with your new one Work colleague. ”This will make it easier for your partner to understand your fears and not to flee into a defensive position.
Most of the time, the worries you are worried about are completely unfounded. In our picture gallery we reveal 10 sure signs that your boyfriend is not cheating on you with another woman:
# 3 Don't compare yourself to others
If you constantly compare yourself to others, you are only making life difficult for yourself. Of course there are also other women who your partner might like visually or in character, but only you are with him - and that's a reason to be happy and not to be jealous, isn't it? Likewise, you shouldn't rate other couples as much happier. Often you only get a little or only the sunny side of the everyday relationship between befriended couples. Behind the scenes, however, the tatters of Mister and Misses (apparently) Perfect are sure to fly.
# 4 Take care of yourself more
To be abandoned is certainly not a nice idea. But why exactly are you so afraid of this scenario? Do you think your life would not be fulfilled without your friend? If you pay more attention to yourself being happy, a breakup won't panic you as much. Therefore, try to spend more time without your loved one, to find your own hobbies and to cultivate your friendships. In this way you become more independent and your fear of loss takes a back seat.
# 5 Give your partner some space
Those who are afraid of being abandoned tend to constrict and cling to their partner. So make sure that you give your sweetheart enough time for his hobbies and interests. If the two of you have lived full lives independently of each other, the prospect of a breakup is no longer so scary.
Do you give your partner enough time to himself? Our test will tell you:
Don; t worry so much!
In conclusion, I can only give you personal advice not to worry so much. I used to waste way too much time wondering what my loved one could do with other women. It almost became a constant controversy. In the meantime I have realized that my relationship will only be happy if I don't constantly strain it with my fears and worries. In this way, I am only involuntarily promoting what I really want to prevent.
Over the years I have learned to trust my partner and give both of us more freedom. We both do a lot independently of each other and therefore appreciate the time together even more. Even if I would find a separation terrible after almost 10 years together, I am not afraid of being abandoned by him. Simply because I know that even without him I wouldn't be lost. Would I be lovesick? Clearly. Would i miss him Certainly. Is my life over without him? No way!
iStock / YakobchukOlena, iStock / tommaso79
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