Why do i hate my home

Answer from Jeanett

Hello,

phew, that felt good to shout everything out, even if it was only in writing, wasn't it?

Have you ever talked to your parents about this? I don't think so, at least not seriously. I tell you, they don't even know how you are. That's why you have to tell them that! I think your parents would be terrified if they read this. You know, you always believe yourself that the others have to see carefully and know when you're feeling bad. But that's not the case! And we find it difficult to see that.

Let me give you an example: Imagine any girl or boy in your class who is rather calm and shy. You hardly take any notice of her (or him). It's just like that, you've never thought about it before. But suddenly, by chance, you find out something about his feelings: He is totally depressed, has the feeling that everyone hates him because nobody is talking to him. Then you start to be amazed at what is going on in it. He also thinks you hate him. You didn't even think about him ...

The example should show you that we always think way too often that we know exactly what others are thinking and what is going on in them. Maybe your parents feel the same way. You may tell your friends that you have a lovely 15-year-old daughter who is not stressful, but is now growing up, maybe having a few puberty problems. But they know NOTHING about your feelings! From where? They can only know if you tell them. It is therefore very important to be able to speak objectively about your negative feelings. And you shouldn't postpone that for too long, because at some point it will expand into a giant bubble inside you, at some point it will burst. Then you will yell at your parents and hurt them.

If you are not sure that you will be able to have such a factual, calm conversation with your parents (this is really difficult if you have no practice in it and do not follow a few rules - see conversation tactics in the archive), then write to them prefer a long letter. Here you can also delete or rephrase something that is not possible verbally. And you can be sure that they'll listen to you without interrupting you. And you don't have to be afraid of losing the thread or forgetting to say something.

Try it, you will see, they have no idea that you are feeling so bad.

Good luck and all the best!
Kind regards, Jeanett