When are good manners not appropriate?

Good behavior: this is how it will help you (professionally)

“I didn't rush through the nursery in the jet plane,” says someone who for himself good behavior takes. The subliminal accusation that resonates shows that the speaker wants to let the other person know that he has learned certain manners. How we behave is a question of upbringing, but also of the culture in which we grow up. There is a wealth of behavior that is appropriate in certain situations, but not everyone has mastered these rules for a long time. Why you are still important ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Good behavior definition: what is it actually?

Quite neutral as behavior we can do that Behavior in connection with other people describe. In a social context, good behavior has established itself as a paraphrase for certain manners.

These have developed over centuries and are partly legally stipulated in laws (e.g. noise protection). The addition of "good" to manners or manners shows that there are certain characteristics by which one recognizes oneself, because these Behaviors create identity.

Good behavior good behavior) called, react appropriately depending on the situation to be able to. This does not only include certain places, such as your behavior at work, at your child's school or at dinner in a starred restaurant. This also includes unexpected situations. In order to be able to do this, the following processes must take place:

  • The situation needs to be identified.
  • The observer must have the adequate knowledge.
  • He must be able to apply this knowledge.
  • The observer can classify himself and his surroundings through self-reflection and empathy.

If there is good behavior, it is clear that there is too bad behavior gives: This is behavior that deviates from the expected manners, for example when someone is jostled in the city and the perpetrator does not apologize.

This example clearly shows that good behavior combined with courtesy is. Good behavior goes far beyond etiquette, which is actually more of a set of rules; instead, good behavior is more of an attitude of mind.

Rules make it easier to deal with one another

In every society there are written and unwritten rules about how people interact with one another. This applies to private life as well as to the public. There are also “invisible” team rules in working life, which means that when you start a new job you should be clear about a few things beforehand.

But even if you are certainly still confronted with some new rules in adult life - for example because you get to know a new culture or move in other social contexts: we learn most of it from childhood.

parents are the first idols of their children; they teach their offspring what is important in life. Good behavior can be roughly divided into a verbal and a non-verbal area:

  • Verbal area: Often there is talk of “magic words”, because terms like thanks and You're welcome our counterparts agree to us much more benevolently. This is especially true if we need help with something, for example. The time of day when we meet a colleague in the hallway or when you answer the phone by name also belongs in this area.
  • Nonverbal area: If you go through a door, make sure that no one is behind you - otherwise, hold the door open. You don't sneeze without covering the back of your left hand, yawning or eating with your mouth open. They shake hands with other people in greeting.

Unfortunately, the sentence “What Hans never learns, Hans never learns” also shows that it is not that easy to internalize certain rules. Children learn good behavior especially by learning them imitate their parents. However, if the parents do not already know these manners, then there is little that the children can learn from their parents.

Because, for example, polite interaction with one another must be recognizable in all life situations and everyday situations so that a child has the opportunity to practice this behavior. Anyone who masters good behavior gets a Sense of security, even in unfamiliar situations. It gives the child the knowledge they need for school and later for their professional life.

In addition to upbringing, it is above all School, clubs and society even who reflect good behavior or sanction bad behavior accordingly. However, this also shows how important the integration of (adult) migrants is, because they were often unable to learn these rules from their parents or from school.

Good behavior is more than etiquette

Good behavior is much more than knowing what cutlery when eating for which gear is used. Good behavior means that those who can do it have a range of social skills.

This includes, for example, yourself To be able to admit mistakes and to signal to your counterpart that you are aware of your wrongdoing. However, adults often find it difficult to apologize, and this is one of the most important principles of good behavior.

This does not only apply to obvious cases like in the example mentioned from Hold the door open, but also when we have offended or hurt our counterpart. So good behavior requires self-reflection. However, it is more than that.

For example, the educationalist Brita Rang has observed an increased public interest in politeness in Germany since the beginning of the new millennium. She lists this Globalization and internationalization back: In the course of an increasingly mobile working life, employees are also expected to behave appropriately abroad.

For example, in Japan it is not common to hand in greeting to give. However, in order to be able to recognize deviating rules, one must first of all recognize one's own manners. This, combined with empathy and intercultural competence, helps in dealing with business partners abroad.

Accordingly, politeness is also the ability to withdraw from yourself and to observe instead. This can be especially important when it comes to unexpected situations goes.

Manners as the basis for professional life

Which some people might rashly consider old-fashioned or redundant is dismissed, proves to be extremely valuable in the work context. At the latest when someone applies for an apprenticeship position and there is an interview, the value of good behavior becomes apparent.

who friendly and respectful occurs, has significantly better chances of getting an apprenticeship, but good behavior is also a door opener in later professional life. There are always situations in which certain manners are expected from you.

Regardless of whether it is about the Christmas party, dinner with the boss or the daily e-mail correspondence: Anyone who knows how to behave is smiling Confidence and Confidence out. We have put together some important rules here:

  • distance

    Everyone has a certain distance zone. Differences in perception are mostly caused by culture, so in southern countries such as Italy, but also in Latin America, the perception of them is different. In any case, it is advisable to observe here as well. In this country, the comfort distance for colleagues and acquaintances is between 60 centimeters and one meter. However, this also means that you should definitely not get any closer.

    More here: Distance zones: please keep your distance!

  • Salutation

    Also, keep the courtesy form in an e-mail. An email is not as formal as a letter. But you should still take the time to be polite. Do not rush to switch to "Hello", but stick to "Dear". Do not use abbreviations such as Mfg. E-mails can only be written more informally in internal communications.

    More here:E-mail salutation: tips for several people

  • criticism

    Should never be uttered in the presence of others. Nobody likes to be pointed out to their mistakes and weaknesses. If you would like to have a basic discussion or cast doubt on past decisions, do so in a personal interview. Do not expose your colleagues or your boss in front of an assembled team. Avoid generalizations and, for example, introducing your point of criticism with the words "never" or "always". Instead, you should rather name specific situations.

    More here:Constructive criticism: practicing the ability to criticize

  • greeting

    The right order is important here, because in contrast to private life, the highest-ranking person is always greeted first in a professional context, even if a lady is present. Thereafter, the following applies: Older people are greeted in front of younger people and women in front of men. However, hand kisses are now considered out of date. And as a rule, instead of “pleasant” you say “I am delighted to meet you”.

    More here:Welcome: etiquette rules for the introduction

  • reception

    If a customer or a potential business partner visits you on your premises, don't let them wander around the house alone, but receive your guests and lead them to the meeting place. Also accompany them to the door after the meeting is over.

    More here:Dinner party etiquette: be careful!

  • Calls

    At business meetings, calls should only be accepted in urgent cases. Anyone who constantly answers the phone at a meeting with a customer or business partner shows that everything else is more important than the current meeting. In addition, the ringing of the cell phone creates a disturbance and prevents the conversation from progressing. It is also considered grossly impolite to demonstratively place the smartphone on the table. Also, be aware of what impression your ringtone is making.

    More here:Smartphone etiquette: etiquette for the cell phone

  • title

    Speak to the person you are talking to by specifying their academic title, if they have one. There are numerous academic titles, but in Germany only holders of a doctorate or professor title are also addressed with this. Prof. Dr. med. Dr. rer. nat. - how are you supposed to know how to address the person in question? The rule here: Use only the highest title. You can omit the title if it is offered to you by the person you are speaking to. You shouldn't do this on your own.

    More here:Salutation etiquette: Dear Sir or Madam

  • Visiting card

    Business cards are usually exchanged at business meetings. It is grossly impolite when you receive your counterpart's business card to slip it into your pocket without being seen. Take a little time to study them and carefully tuck the card away in your files. If you do not have your own business card with you, that is not only unprofessional, it also signals that you are not interested in further exchanges.

    More here:Create business card: design, trends, tips

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