What do you like in Bollywood movies

It was my first time seeing a Bollywood movie and now 41 burning questions

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Fortunately, my colleague Srishti Dixit from Buzzfeed India answered my questions seriously. Well, she tried anyway.

Hi, I'm Max. And this is my colleague Srishti Dixit from India. She persuaded me to watch the Bollywood film "In the good as in the bad".

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And that's what I did.

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Yeah, I get paid for it.

Since this was my very first Bollywood film, I had a lot of questions that Srishti answered all of them

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1. Why is it so hot in Indian houses?

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answer: How should I know who's farting around on set all the time?

2. Do you often find you start dancing in a marketplace?

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Answer: 344 days a year. The remaining days are public holidays.

3. The film is 10 minutes longer than Titanic! Why?

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Answer: Some Bollywood films are even longer!

4. Are all Indian men such mothers' boys?

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answer: Unfortunately, there are still not enough Indian men such mothers' boys. This way!

5. Why is everyone always grabbing each other's legs?

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Answer: We touch the feet of our elders when we greet them. It's a gesture of respect. And sometimes, if we can't get down to our feet, our ankles will do too. Little effort is always good.

6. Do the actors really sing their songs themselves?

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Answer: GOD. BE. THANKS. NO.

7. Why doesn't anyone kiss each other on the mouth in the whole film?

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Answer: In India there is an organization called the Central Board of Film Certification. We just call it censorship. I think they all have a germ phobia. Kissing = Bääääh.

8. But always on the neck, like in bad soft porn?

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Answer: We call this the "cleavage sniffer". Because if the actors are not allowed to kiss in front of the camera, then the directors have to come up with something else to bring in the sex.

9. What does this gesture mean?

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Answer: In some regions of India this means: "I'll meet everyone downstairs in the bar for happy hour drinking. Presence is welcome."

10. And this?

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Answer: This gesture is my secret favorite. That means: "My mother called 57 times, so unfortunately I have to go now. But can we have another quickie in the toilet, please?"

11. Or this one?

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Answer: This means throughout India: "Perfect eyeliner, honey!"

12. Does that work with Indian women?

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Answer: Oh yeah!

13. And does it really often happen that you get tangled up with your clothes?

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Answer: THAT is really a problem in this country!

14. SINCE. WHEN. GIVES. IT. IN. INDIA. PYRAMIDS?

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Answer: In Bollywood films, all romantic dream scenes are recorded abroad.

15. Why is Shah Rukh Khan running all the time?

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Answer: There was never any mention of what he does for a living. That's why I think he's a contract killer and therefore has to run a lot.

16. WHAT. TO THE. HANGMAN. IS. IN. THIS. SUITCASE?

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Answer: Hm ... weapons?

17. Did you notice that Shah Rukh Khan wore the same shoes for 10 years?

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Answer: OH. MY. GOD. I never noticed. Money has to be tight in the hitman business.

18. Are the people in all Bollywood films actually as absurdly rich as in “In Good Days As In Bad Days”?

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Answer: Only until November 8th, 2016. Then came the big devaluation in India. Pity!

19. I mean, do you also notice that something is wrong with this "house"?

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Answer: Well For us Indians it is more like a castle. I think they only rented a quarter of the property for the filming, so maybe that's why the thing is called "house".

20. Do all Indians bleach their teeth?

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Answer: We just brush them twice a day. Why, what are you doing?

21. Is Anjali actually crazy?

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Answer: Once you get to know her properly, she'll be a lot more chilled. Believe me.

22. Does Rahul use wet gel or wax?

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Answer: Honestly? I think I've seen more men use their own saliva than hair gel.

23. Does dad wear a wig?

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Answer: So, first of all, that's Amitabh Bachchan. He plays Daddy Raichand. And to answer that question, we're not kidding about LEGENDS here.

24. Why does Shah Rukh Khan always suddenly appear in the background?

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Answer: He likes to watch women leave the room.

25. And why does he just clap in the middle of a conversation?

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Answer: If you look closely you can see how embarrassed he is that he clapped so stupidly here.

26. And then I need to know what that little boy eats all the time?

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Answer: This is an Indian dessert called "Laddu". It is made from sugar, milk, chickpea flour and clarified butter.

27. Do Indian fathers like their daughters as much as their sons?

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Answer: I do not know that. But I would like them to be as strict with their sons as they are with their daughters.

28. What's going on between these two?

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Answer: He just loves her outfit. You can see it!

29. Why do Anjali and her friend crack nuts and don't eat them?

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Answer: In this way, Indian women collect food supplies for the harsh Indian winters.

30. Is it normal in India for business men to have such rings on both hands?

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Answer: Only with the cool business men.

31. Why do they always push each other like that?

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Answer: This is how we flirt in India. Our crush gets a nudge and hey presto - LOVE.

32. What's on this tray?

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Answer: All the fucking things the young Rohan gives on his childish obesity.

33. Oh and can you explain why women wear these oversize nose piercings to weddings?

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Answer: So that they can be used as a cock ring later on the wedding night.

34. Why doesn't Shah Rukh Khan actually get wet?

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Answer: I do not know. But we asked the government to change his status from human to superhuman.

35. Is that how all Indians apologize to their parents?

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Answer: We have to do that. Otherwise nobody here will believe that we are serious.

36. Are Indians good at keeping secrets?

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Answer: Believe me, we're better than those two up there.

37. Do you also give your dance moves names?

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Answer: Sure. We call this one: "You know you want this."

38. Just so that I understand correctly. They only moved to England to talk about how bad England is and how great India is, right?

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Answer: Indians. ¯ \ _ (ツ) _ / ¯

39. Why can all Brits sing fluent Indian in the film and also look like Indians?

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Answer: That’s not what an Indian attracts!

40. You like the young Rohan better than the old man, don't you?

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Answer: Yes! Young Rohan is like me as an adult.

41. Did I understand correctly? Your name is POO?

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Answer: YOU. IS. FABULOUS. A. ICON.