What regrets 20 things the most

No regrets, or do they? 5 things the dying regret most

Regardless of your age, there are things in life that are better to be changed and fulfilled immediately, because all the doors of our lives are still open. But what do we regret when our lives come to an end? A palliative care nurse recorded and reported the thoughts and wishes of her patients during their last days.

Bronnie Ware: Palliative carer and companion

In search of a life that Bronnie Ware really wants to lead, the banker quits her job and sets off on a journey. From then on, permanently living in insecure circumstances, she moves from job to job. Initially a dishwasher, she then works in a bar and then in a call center to finance her trips. Until she gets to the job of palliative care worker via detours. But Bronnie Ware not only helps the dying in their final hours, they also enrich their lives. What is a good life? What things do the dying regret? The Australian got her questions answered and then wrote a book about the dying's last wishes, entitled "5 Things The Dying Regret Most - Insights That Will Change Your Life".

1. "I wish I had the courage to live my own life"

Education, a decent job, marrying husband and children, Grace has done everything that is expected of her for decades. Even when she only found time to do the housework and her husband bullied her, she didn't do anything about it. When he was suddenly admitted to the nursing home, she breathed a little more easily. She thought she could start a new life after that, according to Bronnie Ware in her book. But then Grace becomes terminally ill. When Bronnie took care of the old woman, she had to promise "never to let anyone dissuade you what you want to do".

“Almost everyone regrets that. There are so many people who go through life most of the time doing things that they think others would expect them to do. "

2. "I wish I hadn't worked so much"

Margaret spent years trying to convince her husband to retire. John, her husband, has a secure job, makes a lot of money and doesn't want to give up his career. When he retires, however, everything turns out differently, as Margaret becomes seriously ill and eventually dies. When Bronnie Ware becomes John's caregiver, he tells her he regrets not focusing on the important things in life. He would have wasted too much time in his career instead of focusing on his wife.

3. "I wish I had the courage to express my feelings"

Jozsef has endured a lot in his life because he was a survivor of the Holocaust. After the war he fled to Australia and started a family there with his wife. Shortly before his death, he realized that he had never shown all of his feelings towards his family. “I would have liked my family to have really known me,” he said to the palliative care worker.

4. "I wish I had kept in touch with my friends"

An old woman named Doris had a daughter, with whom she used to be very close. The contact broke off from year to year. Why? “Life and our busyness got in the way,” replied the old woman in her final months. “I thought we would stay close forever”. It was similar with Doris' friendships. The palliative nurse said: "Many of my patients regretted that they had not invested enough time in their friendships".

5. "I wish I had allowed myself to be happier"

One of the first female managers at her employer was Rosemary, and her career was on the up. But she never got over the breakdown of their marriage. She becomes a bitter woman who only a few days before her death realizes that Ware is right when she says that everyone has the freedom to choose. “Many patients only realize this at the end. You are stuck in old patterns and habits and comfort. "

Bronnie Ware adds that not all patients have something to regret. There are also many people with no regrets who die with smiles on their faces. The experiences have helped her to live her life in such a way that she does not regret anything on her deathbed: "I know that I have to do what I want".

Cover picture: © Alex from the Rock / stock.adobe.com

Born in the Allgäu, she is no longer only at home in the media and communications industry, but also feels at home in Munich. In her free time you can find her in nature in the mountains or playing salsa on the dance floor. At NewFinance, on the other hand, everything revolves around editorial content in the online area.