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Dealing with a drug addict partner? 7 important tips for relatives

Those who are addicted to drugs only live for addiction. It doesn't have to be hardness Be drugs like cocaine, heroin, or crystal meth. Even addiction to hash, marijuana, or pills weighs on the relationship. This article shows you how to tell if your life partner is using drugs.You will also learn how to deal with his addiction.

Drug addiction is a heavy burden on any love relationship. If you're reading this article, you're probably wondering if your loved one is an addict.

Or you already know that he actually uses intoxicants on a regular basis.

You may also want to dispel any last doubts. We try to support you in doing the right thing.

How do I know if my boyfriend is using drugs?

If you himself no contact with drugs it's harder to get that Sign for drug use To recognize: You may notice that your significant other has red eyes or strangely wide pupils more often.

Sometimes he may seem absent-minded. As if stepped away. It doesn't seem right there to be.

He may forget things that you have experienced or discussed with one another. Or he portrays them in retrospect. You may not understand some of his behaviors. Or you wonder about his sudden mood swings.

There are times when he seems like a completely different person.

Your husband may disappear from time to time. He can find all kinds of explanations for his absence, but they don't seem right to you. Money disappears from your joint account. However, there are no receipts or visible acquisitions.

Is your gut feeling that something is wrong? Then you should get to the bottom of the matter.

Drug addiction in a partnership is not easy to see.

It is different when you myself tooContact with drugs have or had. Then you can better assess whether your partner has taken something or not.

Symptoms of drug use

The Symptoms of drug use depend on the type of substance abused. There are Drugswho stimulate. These include (methyl) amphetamines like crystal meth and cocaine. Others, like heroin, are more calming.

The personality changes through consumption.

Is your friend unusually active, energetic, and confident at times? Instead of being shy, fearful and reserved, is he suddenly enormously self-confident and full of zest for action?

This could be an indication of amphetamines or cocaine use.

Or acts your friend who is actually one Doer is suddenly quiet and withdrawn? Maybe he took something.

What drugs are there?

Not all drugs are equally dangerous. Most of the time they are in two groups assigned:

  1. Soft drugs
  2. Hard drugs

Allocation to one or the other group is based on their strength and possible potential dependency.

Soft drugs do above all physically dependent.

Solves the drug consumption quickly one physical addiction experts speak of hard drugs. This includes heroin, crystal meth and cocaine.

Sometimes professionals rank the different ones Drugs in three categories a. You also speak of Drugs on the borderline between soft and hard.

Make a special form legal drugs like alcohol and cigarettes Although both can be addictive and have severe physical consequences, both substances are socially acceptable.

Unless the consumption goes too far.

These 7 signs can tell you that your loved one is using drugs

The following points give you hints on what to look out for. A conversation with your friend will bring you final clarity.

  • Personality changes: Instead of being calm and reserved, your partner is suddenly turned up for no apparent reason. Or his usual nervousness is blown away. But he seems deeply relaxed to apathetic.
  • Difficulty concentrating: Your husband does not manage to stick with it. Even in a conversation with you, he keeps getting lost.
  • Articulation problems: Your friend can't find the right words. Or he doesn't bring it to his lips in an understandable way.
  • Eye changes: Dilated pupils, reddened eyes and hectic eye movements also indicate Drug problem down.
  • odor: Does your friend's clothes smell noticeable? Hash and marijuana have a distinct, distinctive smell.
  • Punctures: What do his arms look like? Do you notice any puncture holes? This could be a sign of heroin use.
  • Jaw movements: Chemical drugs often trigger noticeable movements.

Why does my boyfriend use drugs?

The reasons for drug addiction are different. Chances are, your significant other is struggling with issues that they can't handle.

Instead of communicating with you about it or getting professional help, he takes refuge in an illusory world.

  • Sometimes they lie Roots for drug addiction in childhood: Has he possibly experienced violence or abuse in the parental home?
  • Or maybe your husband is suffering from his stressful, demanding job. Maybe he's trying his Drug performance to increase.
  • Your loved one may also be missing so-called Coping strategies. That is, your friend hasn't learned to endure difficult situations or how to deal with problems and challenges.

Drugs offer him a quick way out from painful situations. Consumption addresses its reward center in the brain. The drug appears as something positive.

It activates certain areas in his brain and body. This is exactly what leads to physical addiction.

How do I deal with my drug addict significant other?

You have probably tried to protect your boyfriend or husband so far. As a result, you have become, so to speak, his accomplice.

  • You can find an acceptable explanation for embarrassing situations in public.
  • If he doesn't show up at work, you call them.
  • You ignore his failures in private life. Even if verbal violence is now part of your everyday life.

Do you want your heart partner really help? Then you have only one option: stop doing it.

Otherwise nothing will change.

It sounds harsh: but you support his Drug addiction. Probably the situation is unbearable for you.

For him they are Drugs or alcohol are more important than the relationship with you. Otherwise he wouldn't expose you to these situations.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Is that still the person you want to spend your life with?
  • Can you rely on him
  • Is he a support for you?
  • Are you living the life you always wanted
  • Are you happy with your boyfriend

The answer is only once No, it's time to think about your life. Your lifetime is too precious to be stuck with him in a codependency that makes you unhappy.

One thing is certain: You can't save him. He can only save himself.

See also what you can do if you feel emotionally dependent on your partner.

Break through unhealthy codependency in 7 steps

1. Stop making excuses for him

Probably it comes through that Drug addiction your friend's uncomfortable situations:

  • Is he too drunk to go to work in the morning? Don't apologize to his boss for not showing up.
  • Is he embarrassing himself publicly because he fantasizes confusedly? Don't try to excuse the side effects of medication.
  • He insults and insults you? Then he stands in front of you the next day with apologies and flowers? Do not be appeased any longer.

Something will only change when he feels the consequences of his addiction. Presumably he reacts with anger and annoyance at first.

2. Do not try to take away his addictive substance

Do you control how much he drinks? Maybe you count his bottles or look into his hiding places. Maybe you dump the alcohol in the toilet.

If your friend is addicted to medication, you may be closing the medication away.

But that doesn't break the addiction. As an addict, your friend will find ways and means to meet his Drugs to get.

Trying to separate it from the substance can be dangerous for you. He's probably yelling at you. He may even get physical or hurt you.

It is not your responsibility.

If he continues consume drugs would like, he will do that. Leave the responsibility for it with him.

3. Argue with him

So far have you let yourself be appeased and overlooked his failures? Don't go along with this any longer.

Wait until your friend is sober. He shouldn't have taken anything. Otherwise you cannot talk to him properly.

Confront him with your problems. Tell him how much you suffer from his behavior. If you reach out to him emotionally, that's a very good sign.

4. Avoid his company when drunk or on drugs

Is your friend an alcoholic Don't go with him to parties where people drink. If he invites you to drink in your own four walls, refuse. Don't cook with alcohol. Also, avoid accepting wine with dinner.

If he starts drinking, leave the house.

That's exactly what you should do when he used drugs in your presence.

You don't want to have anything to do with him if he is numb with intoxicants. Don't comfort him when he comes to you later.

Withdraw.

5. Get support from friends, family, and co-workers

You have probably hid your significant other's addiction so far. That also means that you were alone with your worries and fears.

Break your silence Tell people around you what is really going on and how you are doing. Talk to them about the real situation.

It takes courage. It is not easy to admit that your seemingly happy life is a facade. But you will feel relieved and liberated afterwards.

It relieves you not to have to endure this difficult situation alone any longer.

Also important: you get feedback from outsiders.

Conversations with others will help you find your way:

  • Do you want to continue to be with this man?
  • How much are you ready to endure?
  • When did the point come when you leave him?

6. Announce the consequences to your current partner

Talk to your friend when they are in their right mind. Tell him what you want from him. Explain what other consequences will follow.

Don't threaten things that you can't pull through, however.

You might be wondering what you mean Drugs have to oppose. There are indeed a few things:

  • You no longer listen to him. As a conversation partner, you will no longer be available in the future.
  • You don't care about his laundry anymore. You only do the shopping for yourself. You no longer cook or clean for him.
  • You leave the bed together and sleep in a different room.

Tip: pack a suitcase to be on the safe side. The behavior of alcoholics in relationships and during a breakup is unpredictable. It is important that you can leave the house quickly if necessary. Put some money aside.

You need your papers, clothes and what is most important to you.

7. Help him with withdrawal

Does he want to have therapy? Support him. Respond only positively to any attempt to combat the addiction.

You might be wondering if he can do it. Or you doubt his stamina inside. Try not to let him see that.

It's hard to break free from an addiction.

Help him find a therapist. Very few people manage to free themselves from the clutches of an addiction on their own.

Live on alone: ​​when addiction wins

Should your friend be at his Drug addiction hold on, draw the consequences. Get out of the situation. Even if it's hard.

Life by his side is not real life.

You have the right to live a happy and contented life: Take your suitcase and temporarily move to friends or a hotel. You'll get the rest of your things later.

Let friends and family accompany you. Avoid meeting him alone. For one thing, he might try to change your mind. Second, you don't know if he's getting aggressive towards you.

Build yourself a new life. That may sound difficult and overwhelming. But you will make it and come out stronger from this situation.

There is help for you too: Contact an addiction counseling center for relatives if you need support.

About the author

Darius Kamadeva - Relationship Expert

Darius Kamadeva is a bestselling author and the leading relationship and dating coach in Germany - especially for women. On his YouTube channel with more than 90,000 subscribers, he helps women with more than 10 years of experience to develop a happy relationship with themselves and with others. His work of accompanying women on their way to become heroines in their lives is known from TV, radio and YouTube. He offers online courses, retreats, seminars, live events, personal coaching and video content that bring women to the love of their lives.