Farts a sin

short The fart was a deity of the ancient Egyptians; it was the embodiment of a natural act. She was portrayed as a child crouched and seeming to be making an effort, and one can see images of it in the works of her antiquities. The poem by Calotin, entitled Le Conseil de Momus, reproduces images of two figures of this god. One was made of three-colored carnelian, the other was made of baked clay and was in the collection of the Marquis de Cospy. The author of the dissertation sur un ancien Usage denies that these figures have anything to do with the god Crepitus and believes they were invented for a more solid purpose ”[Biblioteca Scatologica, 1850]. - »The ancient inhabitants of Pelusium, a city in Lower Egypt, worshiped, among other strange and strange objects of worship and cult, a fart, which they worshiped under the symbol of a swollen belly.

fart(2)

Solomon the Wise Speaks
Loud farts don't stink
But they hiss so softly
And so quietly get away from the ass
Man, beware of them
Because they stink terribly

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fart(3) It could be that every now and then a region in which the energy density is particularly high inflates and forms a big bang like the one in which we are. -

fart(4) It shoots in the foot and hits the nose.

fart(5) I would have to tell great weaknesses if I wanted to tell all of his fights that he committed against us. But at the exit we learned how useful it is to pull the young children's flesh out of the teeth of such donkeys, because they do not bite into it as clever people, but as cruel wolves, the harm of which one can only feel when one sees which one It is an advantage if one does not deprive young people of all freedom.

Such schoolmasters should be filled with boxwood and venerated Monsieur Diabolus at the New Year, for they make fearful people who afterwards neither know how to advise nor how to help, and I wanted to read down their lessons from such people if I don't care about their boy antics embarrassed and considered more advisable that their unlawful and overly hasty beginning of their own responsibility should be abandoned and so let the fools run wherever they want to run.

He had the use, if a boy had a fart painted, if someone had to go from top to bottom of the benches, to smell who would have done it. Hence it came about that when the person sent around was not good for this or that, he betrayed such to the schoolmaster as the perpetrator. It then rained heavy blows on them, and [he must have held five shillings 3 because of a single fart, whether he did it or not. Once someone accused me of this point of farting to the schoolmaster for no reason, and because I was forcibly torn out to nester down my pants and hold a good product, I said in my fear:

"Oh, dearest Herr Schulmeister, it is a lie, I did not let the fart, it may have let it, whoever wanted it, so please, do not believe my comrade, but smell my ass yourself, you will find that I've been falsely lied to. " "You dog food," said the schoolmaster, "should you call me such things, I wanted the devil to fetch you!" Quickly, you pups, pull it out! I want to teach the gallows bird what to call me. Stop, you rascal, I want to smell your ass that you shouldn't be able to sit on it for six weeks. " With these words he took it himself. You could hear scolding, screaming and crying among each other, and if there was such a noise in the school because of the fart, people would stop in front of the windows in the alley. Wherever I could hold on to a bank or a boy, I held on with all my claws. Hence it happened that I soon took one by the hair and the other by its flap, which I tore them into small pieces. While tugging around like that I tied my trouser nests with twenty-four buttons, which, when the schoolmaster saw it, he wiped his penknife to cut my trousers open. But I stretched my stomach far in front of me, waving my body back and forth in such a way that he couldn't easily get my hands on me, for fear he might even cut me in the stomach. He finally threw me on the floor and got my pants down from behind. He must have thrown more than two rods at me bluntly and to shame, so that I was full of blood both under my nose and on the tatter.

Our schoolmaster was such an honorable and delicate fellow

fart(6)  We are nothing but in the state of the virtual fart. The concept of reality is given to us by a certain state of abdominal concentration of the wind that has not yet been released. The gods and the mornings that sing have emerged from this obscene gas that has been accumulated since the world became world and since the pyramidal Ubu digested us before it pataphysically hurls us into the void, which is darkened by the smell of the cold fart - which will be the end of the world and all possible worlds.

fart(7)

A LITTLE BALLAD FROM THE LITTLE MOUSE WHO GOT A BOY IN VILLON'S CELL

The moon swam into my room
because he's so alone out there
stood by the defoliated trees.
I gave him a pillow
so that he could rest, and he was happy
under your head. I put my hand to him
quickly on the eyes, and then he slept too.
But bad air plagued me in my stomach.

She plagued me until a clock struck twelve.
I've damned enough
and let her out, the air. Of that is
the moon did not wake up, but in the corner of the window
the mouse woman. She was frightened at first
born, which was not yet due.
The little pink snouts beeped so nicely
that I took her into my warm bed.

My God, they are thin things, still completely naked
and blind: How did misery seize me l
I think something wet came into my eyes.
Some girls have already heard of me
had a child and died of shame.
But the poor worms kissed
in my hand, as if I were her father Mäusich.

At last the mouse-woman had become so tame
that she came to me wagging.
The black eyes were bright and large
into my face.
And suddenly I was so tiny too
like this animal and took it in his lap.
I guess I spent the whole night with her
and thought of no other woman.

 

fart(8)  In Luthers power language mixes infinitely often the German core word, which we no longer dare to mention, and so in his "papacy, donated by the devil" the pope is also "a farzel, whose fart even the emperor fears and who farts all asses." and wants to bind them and have them worshiped, and this farmer in Rome still wants his bum licked. "

fart(9)  

fart(10)   Metrokles, the brother of Hipparchia, who first heard the peripatetic Theophrastus, was so intimidated that when a wind escaped him once during his school exercise, he locked himself in his room out of desperation with the intention of starving himself to death. As Krates learned this and, prompted by the relatives, went to him after. if he had deliberately enjoyed beans beforehand, he tried to make it clear to him through sensible ideas that he had not committed any outrage; for it would have to be wonderful if the winds did not also make their natural withdrawal; but in the end he lifted him up again by making himself guilty of this sin and so, for his consolation, actually placed himself on the same level as him. From then on he became his listener and achieved a notable position in philosophy.

fart(11)

fart(12) We are nothing but in the state of the virtual fart. The concept of reality is given to us by a certain state of abdominal concentration of the wind that has not yet been released. The gods and the mornings that sing have emerged from this obscene gas that has been accumulated since the world became the world and since the pyramidal Ubu digested us before it pataphysically hurls us into the void, which is darkened by the smell of the cold fart - which will be the end of the world and all possible worlds ...