Why does my ex hate my guts

Transmission pause

I've already told my story here:

Separation from the ex 3 months ago. After that, we still had something together. We have had a break from broadcasting for 2 weeks (came from my side).

With the radio silence itself I've got along pretty well so far, even if it tempts me to report here and there. But then I always think to myself, if I do that, the previous days have been "in vain" and the final deal with this thing would drag on again.

The only thing that drives me crazy are my thoughts or a very specific thought.
Every time it buzzes through my head, my bowels contract and I feel the pressure on my chest.
It pains me to think that he might meet someone new. I know that at some point it will surely be the case with him, as it will with me.

I don't want him back because I know he just doesn't want anymore. Nor do I have any hidden hopes that he might come back to mr through the break in contact. Yet he does the thought with another

No other train of thought troubles me as much as this one. The fact that I can't see him or feel it at the moment isn't half as uncomfortable as the other's.

I didn't feel like celebrating New Year's Eve yesterday. In my head I had the idea that he would be very tipsy again at a New Year's Eve party, in the arms of someone else. * go crazy *

Since the breakup 3 months ago this has been my "main panic". I thought that would go away, especially since I had made experiences with other men during that time.

But it hasn't changed.

Thanks for listening.


01.01.2003 10:39 • #1